MY CONFESSION

BY ZACK OMONDI

It’s a golden opportunity – saying to my self – when they came in large numbers, a situation that set me into strategies of who is who, and who is to come first. I thought that the world for once would mean mine and I will have owned everything with time. I imagined that the aspect of I, me and myself would work. It was more than just simple ‘hallucinations’.

The Kiswahili proverb that goes, ‘mtaka yote hukosa yote’ was just nowhere in between the boundaries of my imaginations as the only thing I for once thought was ‘the polygamy thing’ which can work this time – Ooh! Poor me, I was fooling myself.

I get an invite for a sumptuous heavy breakfast in a certain hostel in between B and F, proceed to watch a movie (with my friend’s laptop) adjacent to hostel G and the obvious – a popcorn treat after which what she bought from Hijaz supplemented ugali, to call it lunch. Sleep over in one of the hostels adjacent to the fitness centre – just after the supper delicacy. A strategy well planned, isn’t it? And the underlined fact is, no one knew but I, me and myself. What goes around, comes back again.

They saw me as a brilliant young guy who made it to campus some years back before them and a person they would always like to associate themselves with – but the fact might be either I was broke, showing off or desperation: I am not sure of which. I was their crème de la crème, their superman who was always on their rescue when a meal was on the table and when my Id being so powerful than my Ego – hope you know what I mean – required some quick gratification. I am regretting because even for a simple friendship, it would have been much better.

You know Love is nothing, ask Dan Smith – but the nothing is to us means ‘complicated, patient, serious, mature and destined for something big,’ so the best way for us to be safe is to ignore such fallacies and make it as simple as nothing.

The D-day when I realized that niliji-kaanga kwa mafuta yangu mwenyewe is when I accidentally hosted all of them at my small domicile just there in hostel sharing a common footpath with the Students’ Centre. I made life cheap in the first place but it is usually not the case.

Amongst the most precious gifts God gives is one’s Innocence and Dignity, to lose them is nothing more but selling oneself cheap. We live with people of different kinds especially here in campus, accommodating all calibre of individuals that as a person you ought to identify yourself with. They are there, so be careful and wise – the way you spend, you choose friends and also the way you utilize your leisure. As for me, I regret being an agent of destruction and the only advice I will give you is – live smart, happy, free and in Christ because this is campus.”

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